Who am I?



All I see is part of me



Try this quite revealing experiment—it may well be a turning point in your life: Choose a moment when you can be alone and when you are feeling refreshed and without worry. Go to the bathroom and place yourself in front of a mirror and slowly look your self over. Do so without judging or critiquing what you see. Simply gaze over your form. Most people know very well every dent, ding, and smudge on their body—its flaws and perfections, what have you. If you see a ring you are wearing and it brings thoughts to your mind, ignore them; they are distractions. Ignore the distractions that take you away from simply seeing your form, your body, the temple in which your soul lives.

Now, look beyond the form. Say aloud, “who am I?” At this point, notice the thoughts and feelings that come to mind. Again, without judgment, let them come and go, without giving them attention; refrain from giving them energy. By this I mean, do not use some thought about an argument you had with someone and how right you think you are and screw them, by golly! That’s giving thought energy. You are defending yourself, usually, this is your ego speaking. Ignore it. Take your egos’ power away from it. Just notice the thoughts and feelings that come to mind. Dismiss them one at a time. Every time a feeling or thought comes into mind say aloud, “this is not me, just thoughts and feelings pretending to be me.” Make sure you make that declaration audible. When you reach a point where you can do this small exercise without falling into reactive thinking, only then can your true identity come into focus. The first seeds of understanding yourself.

It will help and certainly ensure rapid progress if you also say aloud with complete humility and sincerity, “Oh Highest Love That Is, show me who I am.”

It may happen in a flash, or it may take a few weeks, but if you are persistent, like learning to play the guitar or riding a bike, it will eventually happen one day that you begin to see the real you emerging from the shadows of your ego, self-defense mechanisms, physical urges, and insane behaviors. The person behind the makeup, fancy clothes, and programmed thinking will start to show its face.

You will see actions caused by your choices and see how it was your petty emotions, dislikes, and hates that created the action, not you. You will begin to see how much greed, fear, desire, and insecurity has held sway in your daily life, pushing you to do and be the very person you have come to be, usually in direct opposition to your real spiritual welfare and needs. You will see the moments of clarity in your life and how little or how often you acted on that clarity. You will see how you were controlled by others, manipulated, and used by them for their own nefarious ends. You will see where you blocked love and functioned with a dead heart. You will see all those moments where pain occurred by selfish backbiting and terrible gossip.

All these perceptions must come to the fore first, before the real you can be seen.

Then, if you remain persistent, the real you, the wonderful you, the loving you, the patient you, the kind and honest you can finally emerge. And like a long lost child, you will see yourself as Divinity sees you. Only then can you begin to understand the meaning and purposes of relationships both in yourself and in the world. Any understanding before that time is an enterprise in folly. More than folly, it will lead to yet further increases in egoism and hate, further increases in dissention and delusion, and ultimately, total violation of the measure and spirit of the law of Love as it exists for all.

It is patently impossible to understand relationships—both inner and outer—until we take the first prerequisite steps in understanding ourselves. To do so can only lead to greater distortion by our programmed minds and delusions, which keep us from seeing things as they really are. Once we embark upon this path toward greater awareness and beingness, then we will create those opportunities that will bring to us the hidden meanings

·        behind the actions of others,

·        the events of our lives,

·        the causations in our world,

·        the motives of other souls and kingdoms,

·        as well as the inner exchanges of energies and flows that exist in all of creation.

It is for this reason alone that this exercise and its purpose is placed early in the book. For without the basic understanding of ourselves, we are lost in a tsunami of emotions; trapped in the hard earth of our bodies; and tossed about by the shifting vagaries of the winds of mind. Only until we truly begin to see ourselves with clarity, can the amazing wonder of our world reveal itself to our ready and understanding consciousness.

For some, the first steps will be like flights of amazement and wonder. For many, it will take some months of patient exploration until they can finally say aloud in front of that selfsame mirror, “ah. There you are. Finally I get to meet you.”

Be advised that this process is fraught with danger, should you start it and give it up too soon. For your body, emotions, and mind are all very powerful things. They have had their way with you for eons and will hardly be glad to give up control back to you, the rightful master of the realm.

Your body will say, “Hey, feed me.” Or it will all of a sudden be “tired.” When you go to do the exercise, it might suggest something more fun to do, especially if it involves sex, eating, or other such indulgences.

And the controllers and devils around you won’t want you doing it either. They’ll know at once you are choosing freedom and will start piling into your world in every which way to keep you busy doing pointless things or those activities which will serve to boost your ego, increase your possessions, or feed your vanity.

Ignore them. To listen to them is to be led away by devils who gain power from your slavery.

As the false “you” in all its varying forms comes and goes, you’ll also start to get glimpses of the real you. The you that is

·        Patient,

·        Kind,

·        Loving,

·        Generous,

·        Humble

·        Courageous,

·        Honorable,

·        And so on…

It is critical to pay attention to whatever it may be that comes to your attention during this process. Try to discern if it is something of a revelation or knowingness about things, or a misdirection to lead you away from this enterprise. For every action towards understanding, there is an equal and opposite reaction by the forces of stagnation and slavery. And as we are so very heavily programmed with churchianity, national hatreds, myopic viewpoints, and self-indulgent vanities, most of these “attacks” will come from only one place: ourselves. Looking for others to blame is a waste. It is ourselves that are our first and last obstacles.

Learn to perceive who is speaking when your perceptions become known to your waking consciousness. For in that perceiving, you will create magnetic pathways of understanding that will expand your consciousness to finally see the manifold aspects of yourself, as complex as any planet in the galaxy and even more so. There is a great deal to learn here and in these initial first steps, much will come to light that may be for some, hard to bear, given all the terrible choices that makes for a lifetime.

Who is speaking? Your body, emotions, or thought processes? What do they say and why? Any attempt to uncover your true self, the growing and knowing soul beneath the layers of goop that is our personalities, creates instant roadblocks by our very own vehicles of soul expression: our selfsame corporeal biosphere.

Listen and discern. Without judgment. Without getting lost in transient thoughts of fanciful daydreaming. Without petty self-indulgences. Without feeling sorry for ourselves. “It’s because so and so is to blame that my life is so terrible!” Avoid all of it. Just observe. See. Understand.

In the end, it becomes an exercise of will. This seeing and knowing, for we must remain steadfast against the earthquakes of our body, the typhoons of our raging emotional seas, the howling winds of our mind. These are all simply vehicles in which our spiritual selves live and function in the lower dimensions. We are learning about our world, every single time we do this exercise; twice a day is good enough. If possible.

Once this is started, the exercise can then be expanded. If you are out in the forest or at the beach or some other quiet and idyllic place of nature, do the exercise.

·        What comes to mind about your self?

·        Who are you?

·        Where are you going?

·        What do you need?

·        Why are you here?

·        What have been your desires and why?

·        Why do you believe you want these things or experiences in your life, just to fill up time? Keep you busy? Keep you from facing yourself? Isn’t that what most endless activity is, pointless and without proper understanding of the why folks do them?

In all this, one blinding truth comes to the fore. We have relationships on every level with everything. It may take some time before it becomes apparent to you, bust rest assured that this understanding will prevail if you are listening, observing, and making a sincere and honest effort in this endeavor.

Of course, the forces of materialism will try to make use of this new you by manipulating this into their favor. They’ll know, long before you do, what is going to happen to you and will make every effort to create links to you in this as control points in your life.

However, the irony of this is, as you see, understand, and relate to life more, these transparent attempts at manipulation will stand out like the sore thumbs they are and be easily dismissed as plays against your spiritual welfare and destiny. If you are growing and seeing all that truly is with clarity, the old tired games will become even more apparent than ever before. FACT.

Then you’ll see in your life who is there to be your taskmaster and all those people who live to grind their boots on the neck of innocent souls. They are the lost, the damned; the endless dark ones who have made their choices to serve their bodies over their Soul. And they are legion.

All of reality will begin to emerge. Then, you can finally understand your fellow man and woman and child. For you will have already seen yourself as it is, why it is, and how it is. This then makes all of life as visible as your self. With this new understanding and eyes of yours, will come the exact same level of sight into the very warp and fabric of the world outside your little world.

Then the great miracles happen: You have patience, understanding, and compassion for those still lost—as you were—and you see that in this ever expanding connection with life, that they are also you. You can see a gay man and understand why they chose that path. Does this make you gay? Hardly. That’s just luciferic programming noise, dumped onto the world in the late 1980s—mainly through the medium of television at first—to stunt the advent of growing awareness they knew was coming to this planet. They want you to believe that every ill you perceive is your character failing as well. If you see it you must be it. By that logic, if I see a plane in the sky, I am now an airplane? LMAO!

On the contrary. You’ll see everything, finally. Yes, you are part of all that is. But once you begin to see how you function and why, you’ll also be better able to make those choices that are better for your life path and for those around you. If you see a murderer does that make you a murderer? See the fallacy of their logic? It fails the first tests of truth. And every time.

Yes, you are connected to all that is. But seeing that this or that aspect of creation and what and why it truly has come to be, only means you can finally see things as they really are. Be careful of the twists and manipulations of darksiders as you grow. For they will be there at every step, to stymie your efforts and to keep you spinning, making all things blurry. These feeble efforts are known as attacks. More on that later.

Remember, this is probably one of the most important times in your life. You are finally starting that inward journey toward your heart, the seat of your soul on Earth. Once begun, impossible to stop. All that is within you, makes all that is without you visible. And what a wonderful journey it is. The mysteries of life reveal themselves. Love takes on a new and important place in your life as the ultimate connection to all that is.

Yes, it will take a bit of time for things to sort themselves out, but if you are reading these words, then you have a real and lasting opportunity to step upon that razor’s edge of holiness and towards becoming an innocent soul, as a child. Eager…loving…open…expressive…and connected with joy and sincerity to all you see.

Could there be any greater blessing than that?

As it becomes apparent to yourself and that aspect of Divinity known as the kingdom of heaven within you, that you are facing your ego and its manifestations, rather than running from them in the form of joining the ego and thereby identifying with it, then you can begin to move forward inward and upward by degrees toward knowing the truth of yourself. This is simply done by again, saying aloud, “reveal to me my faults, failings, and the holes in my character.”

This step can only be beneficial when you are truly seeing your ego for what it is, that aspect of your lower mind as it seeks for its own ends, rather than for the ends of your soul, the real you. The mind is an expression. We use it to solve math problems, make spatial connections with our experiences and environment, and because our sense of identity is largely a thought and is given its basis in thinking, this body becomes imbued with the sense of identity we give it. That sense of identity is called our ego.

Now the ego is—like any spoiled child—petulant, self-serving, and has its own wants. The qualities of the ego are






And self delusion;

And any enterprise that feeds these qualities gives power to this aspect of the mind, the ego. This is the true dweller on the threshold for it will become your best friend. And for most people, it is their best friend, for the ego is a conscious aspect that has been fed and grown over many lives. It knows that in order to survive and be captain of the whole mind-emotion-body-ship it must constantly be defensive and imbue self-righteous to whatever degree necessary in order to be obeyed by the soul, which usually is quite asleep.

Once the ego sees that the human soul is actually starting to pay attention to its thinking processes and aspects of character, a gong goes off—warning it of its certain demise. The ego then activates as never before, seeking to squelch by any means necessary, the emerging control by the soul as guided by the Sun of God through the Heart.

We can only safely take this journey by being completely honest with ourselves. We must take all we see as though we were looking at another person. Make special note of this last statement. Please. Notice when a friend brings their real—rather than fictional—problems to us, we can easily discern the causation of the matter and be helpful? (Providing we are being honestly helpful and not inserting an agenda into the process, serving ourselves or others, to manipulate them. A lot of that around these days.) The reason they cannot see their problems causes and we can is because of the simple fact that their ego prevents it! Our ego, not having anything to defend in the process, has no interest and therefore stands aside; unless of course we are using our aid to someone to puff up our vanity and ego, by thinking we are somehow great for helping them. Another, even more subtle danger that must be watched.

It takes a really special person to take a good, long hard look at themselves and be totally honest with what they see. The good news is, that once this is begun, you’ll have patient help in the matter from within. Things will slowly be brought to your attention, in real time, making your daily life all the more interesting than it ever was before. You’ll see yourself talking to others, as though you were someone else. Your tone of voice, your joy (or lack of it), the cadence of your words, how your energy works within you and around you as you move through your day, being you. Slight, inward suggestions will slowly come to your awareness which will advise those subtle changes which will improve your character, your ability to see, know, and understand yourself, as well as those around you.

This is so, because the process started then moves to all aspects of your daily life, quite beyond your exercise. You’ll see when your body is being lazy; your emotions, unsettled. You’ll see anger for what it is. But mainly, the real vipers of ego, pride, and vanity will show their fangs and how deeply they have been sunk into your spiritual neck, controlling all you do, say, and are. For ages…

We all want to change the world and make it a better place. The changes we see in the world should be seen in ourselves first. That’s the world that is under our control and it’s that world that needs our attention first. Become the loving, aware, kind, and wise person you need to be, long before attempting anything that can be useful for the rest of the planet. This is so very true and apparent when we look at all the movements out there that are populated by egoistic souls and because they seek change in the outer without the prerequisite inner change first, they are quite obviously and totally manipulated by dark forces. This was visible in the sixties with the whole love, peace thing and its visible now in every country. People wanting change being led by vampires for their own dark purposes. Had they made the inner changes within their own world first, they would be unable to be manipulated in the outer work by those dark denizens who seek only to serve to lower vices of the human race.

This is especially so in the field of religion. Look at all those corrupt church leaders speaking total nonsense and shouting for more war, more death, and blindly following the flag and government. Is there a more pathetic example to be found? Hardly. What does love have to do with invading a country for oil? What does connecting with the Kingdom of God within have to do with paying for a new mansion for yet another political-religious stooge?

We live in a spiritual time and ironically, the world’s spiritual leaders are rife with corruption, double-dealing, and misrepresenting the true spiritual truths of our time. Which are wholly self-evident to any loving child.

By facing ourselves and relating to all we learn and see and know in our efforts will create those men and women who will be able to deal with the problems of the world in an honest and incorrupt manner. Anything less will create the exact same circumstance in which the world finds itself in now. As long as human beings hide in their bodies and let them control their lives, they will be mere playthings for those dark and cunning reptiles who have been running this planet for so very long.

The first key to the kingdom of heaven within is to know thy self. The first lock upon the gate is the one towards seeing who we are and what we are, whatever it may be. Once that locked is breached, the soul moves inward and upward toward wonder, beauty, joy, grace, and ecstasy. No other person than you can unlock that gate. You must do it. Your hand must be on the key. And the key itself is made of the metals of honesty and sincerity coupled with a willingness to face whatever you see and learn about yourself with humility and courage.